How to cope with the loss of a pet

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 My thoughts on how to cope with the loss of a pet.

“We are like immortal beings to our dogs. We live our lives while they burn through theirs, fast and bright. We watch as they arrive, mature, grow grey, and pass. Hopefully, we have paid attention.”  - RHKohl

As dog breeders, Pam and I have spoken with many people who have lost a family pet and are looking for a puppy. In some cases, we think that the person we are talking to isn't ready for the challenge that a new puppy will bring. They are still in the first or second stage of grieving over their loss. We feel for these folks and with this in mind, we would like to give you our thoughts on how to cope with the loss of a pet and when you might be ready to look for a new puppy.

Perspective: Please, if you are having trouble dealing with grief and loss and cannot put things into perspective, then find a mental health professional.

My thoughts on how to cope with the loss of a family pet:
I think we go through the grieving process after the loss of a pet in three stages:

 • Denial – samudaya
 • Acceptance
• Letting Go - nirodha

I also think that we go through these stages in both our conscious mind and our id or unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is where your childlike nature lives. It's where artists and creative people spend most of their time. The unconscious mind is the crying baby in us. It's the angry Karen and it's the stage actor in each of us. The unconscious mind is also where we feel the loss of a pet most deeply. Thankfully, somewhere around the age of two (in most of us), the other part of our human nature begins to mature. This is when our conscious mind begins to gain more control over our thoughts and actions. We are then young adults, meaning we are learning self-control. This is when we become more self-aware and adult-like.

The problem is that when we grieve, we grieve as a child, in our unconscious mind. But thankfully, as conscious beings, we have a way out of the hopeless feeling of grief. The key here is to realize that we can use our conscious or adult-like mind to comfort and guide the child in us to accept what has happened. It might seem strange to say you can comfort yourself, but how many times were you told “control yourself” as a child? In reality, there is little difference.
Just a Note: Please be careful with sadness; if you stay here too long and do not accept the reality of things, sadness can turn into depression. If you can't get past the loss, find a mental health professional to help you through.

“Watch out now Take care,
beware the thoughts that linger
Winding up inside your head
The hopelessness around you In the dead of night
Beware of sadness
It can hit you It can hurt you
Make you sore, and what is more
That is not what you are here for”

• George Harrison

Some things that might help:
• Your faith
• Remember to breathe!
• Stay in the moment and out of your head.
• Sleep (not too much - not too little)
• Eat well. • Get out and walk.
• Meet with friends.
• Meditate – Gil Fronsdal has a class online.

How to know when you are ready for a new challenge:
• If you are honest with yourself, you will know.
• You can talk about the pet without becoming overly emotional.

Additional suggestions to cope with the loss of a pet:
• Write about your feelings in a journal.
 • Create a memorial for your pet.
• Volunteer at an animal shelter or rescue organization.
I hope this helps in some small way.